When you SHOULD listen to the SHOULDS

Mikki Kingrey (Business Heroine Magazine)

You have probably heard the expression stop ‘shoulding’ all over yourself. :)  Yep, I love that one too.  I agree that living by the shoulds is not a healthy process. But there is an important distinction to consider.

When there is a part of you telling you to do something for your good, for your better self, and you know it isn’t an external expectation but something true and inside, this is a should you should listen to.

Make calls even though you don’t want to…

Talk to people even though you don’t feel comfortable…

Try a new approach even though it’s scary….

Be in action even if you don’t know it will work…

This is where the difference between the trust and fear show up.  How closely are you listening?  Are you willing to make that distinction?  

It can be really easy to just say it doesn’t feel in flow or in alignment, but that’s taking the easy way out.  

What do you really want to create?  How committed are you?  

This is a new insight I am stepping fully into.  It is the difference between taking inspired action and taking purposeful inspired action.  One is doing it because it calls to you, feels like the next step, it pulls you forward.  I am a big fan of inspired action, it is a big part of how I moved more into flow and ease in my business.

But there has always been this little edge to this that I couldn’t make sense of.  What about the things that I should be doing for my business to be consistent?  Sending my weekly email communications, having calls with potential new clients, scheduling those calls… there are certain things that need to take place in order to have a successful, consistent business.  

So how do you stay in inspired action and still take care of business?

You listen to the should’s.  But here’s the thing.  You only listen to the internal should’s. – the ones that come from you, your truth, your knowing  There is nothing external about it.  This is not sending the newsletter because your coach or mentor tell you it’s good business.  It’s sending the newsletter because it’s a commitment you made to yourself and your community.  

So when you make a commitment to yourself, your clients, your community, anyone, there is a way to follow through with inspired action and still follow through.  

It could mean only doing it when it felt inspired.  But it’s not.  Now it’s about creating a process for yourself so you can get inspired whenever you want.  And then take the action from that space of inspiration.  

What is your process for getting inspired?

I like a walk and a mediation.  There is also a pretty substantial daily practice that I use that holds me in a very connected, inspired place, that allows me to call on that creative flow most whenever I need it.  I didn’t realize how important it was until I had this conversation with a client, this distinction between inspired action and purposeful inspired action became crystal clear – it was something I was taking for granted, but it is so important.  

Be Inspired!  Take Action.


A should you should listen to - Mikki Kingrey

Business Heroine Magazine


We’d love to hear from YOU…

How do you know when you should listen to the shoulds, or when you’re just “shoulding” yourself to death? What “shoulds” do you feel like listening to right now? Leave your answer in the comments below! 



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