3 Steps to Manifesting the Life and Business You Desire

When I was a kid, I thought I’d never be able to get pregnant because I was adopted and so was my mother.

My crazy story went like this… I believed I could not have children because both my mother and grandmother couldn’t. Silly and not.

Let’s face it, we all come into this world with our first role models – our parents.

Then we move onto our family members, neighbors, and teachers.

For some this may have been great, and for others it may have been a rocky road that lead you to get years of therapy to heal wounds from whatever your experience was.

Either way, it was what it was.

The best healing around this is to forgive anyone for what they have done. Remember, they did the best with what they knew, even if you had a hard upbringing like I did.

Your destiny is up to you, not for the Universe to decide for you.

You get to write the script of your life and let your past be your past. You get to create who you are and have the life you desire. I know this because I was voted “most likely to be a hooker, stripper or drug dealer.”

I’m not joking. I was the girl beating up boys in the school yard in elementary school. Later, I learned the in’s and out’s of drug dealing, I have a Phd in street smarts.

What helped me to survive my “after school special” home life was having role models. I did not know the big role they were playing at the time.  All I knew is that they showed me another way to live life, that seemed normal.

The contrast of what I had and what they had was my Point A and Point B, if you will. I was able to see that there was another way.

Having role models became my manifesting secret.

If I could see someone have what I desired to have, then I believed I could have it too. Remember, as a child I told myself I could not have children, and then later on I found another role model to change the story.

I was told by my first role model (a family friend) I could be anyone that I wanted to be. This came with lots of growing, lots of lessons and finding out for myself my life will never look like anyone else’s – and my past does not dictate my future. This goes for you, too!

She also showed me how to  be a loving mother. How to have a ‘normal’ family that eats dinner together and communicates. She introduced me to the fashion world. I was able to see what was possible when I watched how she ran her jewelry business.

I knew someday I could work for myself if I wanted to. And I could have a healthier family life.

When I wanted to change my career to become a yoga teacher, I found a yoga teacher I connected with who worked in fashion, like I did, and she became my role model for yoga teaching. I never wanted a studio so that part I tossed out. What I did create was my own DVD. I traveled the world (like she did), and did workshops for beginners. I loved it.

I later found another mentor who I modeled to do yoga therapy. I learned everything from him and assisted him for over a year.

When I wanted to shift my career again, from yoga to coaching, I found a mentor who worked in fashion, did fitness training and became a coach. Her journey was relatable and I could see myself doing this because I saw her do it.

When it came to having a family, my husband and I opened up to finding role models for parenting. This was so much fun. We would observe, talk about what we like and what we wanted to put in place. Once I got pregnant, we felt more aligned with what we wanted to have and now we feel we are on our path as parents. Now we have healthy role models we can turn to when we need it.

Whenever I have an area of my life I want to grow or uplevel, I seek out role models who I trust and who have done it their own way. This helps me to have confidence and know I can take parts to play with and discover what works for me.

The key is to find role models who are doing, or have done, what you want to do. 

It’s your life and your right to chose.

Let’s put this into action so you can find a role model to help you create your next big shift in your life and business…

First Step: Take Inventory

Look at your life and where you want to have different outcomes than you have right now.

Ask yourself what area of your life do you feel you want to upgrade, shift or change? Check in to see the story you’ve been telling yourself and if you are settling because of it.

Is it lifestyle? Career? Money? Relationships? Whatever it is, there are role models out there you can learn from. You get to become curious to learn where they failed, succeeded, grew, what they let go of, created and made happen.

Keep in mind their obstacles were there for them to grow. You may have similar obstacles, but your experience is unique to you, which is where you get to decide what works for you and what doesn’t.

What area do you want to upgrade, shift or change?

Second Step: Get Curious

Start actively seeking out those who have what you desire to have or are doing what you want to do in this area.

Thinking about the area of your life or business that you are seeking a role model for, write down the outcome you want. Then list anyone who has the outcome you want, or is doing what you want to do in this area. They may be people you know or not.

You get to create your ideal situation, your outcome, and learn from those who have done it. Their lessons will show you how human they are and how you are, too. They are special and so are you.

Keep in mind you cannot have anyone’s life. You get to see the things they have, but the way your path unfolds to create it is unique to you. What you can do is see what you like and pick those things to have and do for yourself – like you’re shopping in a grocery store!

Third Step: Take Action

Allow this process to be easy and fun!

If you are saying to yourself I have no idea who they are, then it’s time to open yourself up to meeting them, to attracting them. You know how manifesting goes, you write down what you are seeking and then you will begin to attract it.

This means you have to pay attention to who is showing up.

If this person is not someone you know, they are an author, coach or someone you follow online, then start reading everything they have on this topic. Maybe they have been interviewed about it. So call on Google as your trusty assistant to help you find them.

You may want to invest in taking their program to learn from them. This allows you to use what they have to offer and find your way with their products.

When I wanted to find a role model for parenting, we started hanging out with friends who had children. We focused on being around families more. We set the intention to manifest this in our lives and it happened.

When I find business role models, I invest in their programs, attend events and hire them as my coach. And for other areas I read books, blogs and learn about them or learn from them. Hearing someone’s story may be all you need to make the change you seek to make.

We learn from hearing other people’s journeys and how they figured it out.

And remember, right now, YOU are someone’s role model…

Let’s find your role model so you can make it happen, with ease!


You get to write the script of who you are - hillary rubin

Business Heroine Magazine


We’d love to hear from YOU…

What area of your life or business do you want to upgrade, shift or change? What do you want to be manifesting now? Leave your answer in the comments below! 




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