In working with women entrepreneurs, I see how easy it is to whither from your own greatness and success. There is a whole pallet of challenges that can come into play to undermine your success, and sadly, your biggest enemy comes from within. Often we’re not even conscious of how evasive and elusive our self-sabotaging tricks are until it’s way too late.

When we don’t reach the desired heights of success, we may attribute these setbacks to external factors. It’s along the lines of “my dog ate my homework.” This excuse didn’t work in grade school and it isn’t going to fly now, especially when your own business is on the line. However, if we take a closer look, often it is us at the core of our business issues.

So what’s a gal to do? Plenty.

The following are five tricky ways women self-sabotage and hold themselves back from success, fulfillment, and ultimately happiness:

1. You don’t clearly know your why.

It all starts at the beginning. You may need to take a deeper look at why you became an entrepreneur to begin with and why you started this particular business. It’s important to understand the purpose behind what you do. In his groundbreaking book Start With Why Simon, Sinek emphasizes the need to understand not what you do, but why you do it.

Companies, organizations and individuals who have a clear why are the ones that prove to be the most successful, innovative and connect deeply with people both internally and externally. Making money, influencing the masses or even selling your product is not your real why. Your why is much deeper. It is the intention, the real juice, behind the decision to do such a risky thing as start a business.

2. You go it alone.

This is definitely not the time to believe you can do everything on your own. It is critically important to seek out advisors, mentors, fellow business-owners, and coaches who can take you to the next level. In her book Stiletto Network, Pamela Rykman explores the power networks that women are creating in all corners of the U.S. Women in these groups not only support one another’s career growth, but it turns out, are investing in one another’s business ventures as well. These powerful groups are providing guidance, important introductions, mentorship, funding and support to women. If you are not able to find one, create your own power posse and watch the magic happen.

3. You don’t toot your own horn.

Women are notoriously bad at self-promotion which is vitally important in business. We often think that in talking about ourselves we make other people feel uncomfortable. Peggy Klaus in her humorous yet informative book, Brag, talks about the importance of putting your best self forward. She gives several steps and examples on how to do it where you don’t come off like a self-aggrandizing tool. As women, we often believe that our good work will speak for itself which just isn’t true. We need to speak up on behalf of our work and ourselves.

4. You believe you’re a fraud.

I was shocked to discover that I wasn’t the only one who secretly thought I was a fraud. Apparently most women, even moguls and world leaders, have moments where they don’t believe they deserve to be where they’re at in their career. There is a sinking notion that one day someone will walk in and say “you don’t belong here.” In The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Valerie Young dissects why women – even those who are highly successful – believe they have fooled everyone and don’t really deserve all their successes. Women have a hard time claiming their accomplishments and being confident that their achievements are deserved.

5. You are falling prey to resistance.

One of the most devious ways we self-sabotage is by our own lack of careful insight into our own beliefs. Just when we’re making significant progress, we do something to muck it up like forget to set our alarm before a big meeting or we procrastinate on an important deadline and miss it altogether. Or, some odd circumstance derails us such as we trip and sprain an ankle before we are suppose to travel for a scheduled keynote speech. What is this phenomenon?

It’s what Steven Pressfield in his book, The War of Art, calls resistance. It is what stops people in their tracks from truly living their life purpose and what derails countless others from greatness. Resistance rationalizes. It procrastinates. It tells you that you are not good enough or smart enough. It reminds you that others are living the life you can only dream of but probably won’t have. It’s insidious, but once you shine a light on it, you’re better able to push past it and consciously choose to move forward in the direction of your dreams

If any of these five thoughts or behaviors sound familiar, it’s time to look inside and find strategies to overcome what is holding you back. If you address each one, you will open the door to success, abundance and fulfillment at all levels of your business and life.

October 2013 Issue