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I’ve just finished a couple of weeks of speaking gigs and I was amused to find that I got the same question over and over again.

It was basically along the variation of “Denise, do you ever get scared?”

Spoiler alerts…

• Yes
• All the time
• Yes, but I don’t let it derail me
• Sometimes I want to run away from my business screaming

I could see everyone’s faces change visibly with relief.

I understand the question because it stems from an incredibly useless belief that we have to be perfect before we’re allowed to have our dreams come true.

That’s bullshit.

Because it’s entirely normal to feel scared when you’re doing something out of the norm, like having a successful life and business.

Why is it that we alone think we’re scared? Even though most successful people look like they have it together all the time – it’s not true or even necessary. Fear is inevitable, because business is the best personal development ever! Don’t believe me?

Nothing will…

• Bring up your money issues quicker than asking for the sale
• Test your personal boundaries faster than the first time a client tries to overstep them
• Unearth your fear of being a bitch quicker than saying NO to a non-ideal project, client or request
• Expose your fear of being seen like having your first blog go viral

Some days I’m so scared, I just want to curl up on the couch, watch Game of Thrones on repeat and never look at my inbox again. Surely it goes away eventually?

No, never.

Millionaire Ali Brown is one of my business mentors and surely she’s never scared? Nope – she told me that every stage of her business has been filled with fear too. Not every day, but enough to know that there’s never truly a time when you’re 100% fearless.

“One of my escapist fantasies is to run away to Mexico and make jewelry. I know when that sounds good to me, it means I am working way too hard!” – Ali Brown.

Guess what? Even millionaires and billionaires sometimes feel like frauds. That’s okay. We’ve established that there’s nothing wrong with feeling a little fear, but what to do about it?

Here are my 7 tips:

1. Call a friend

Meet a few of my personal business besties – Victoria Gibson of Marveo.com, Belinda Jackson of Web Chameleon and the awesome Leonie Dawson. Chicks I call or message when I’m feeling scared. I connect with these amazing ladies at least once a week. Sometimes it’s just a quick, “I’m about to send out this sales page, and I’m crapping myself.” or “Guys, this person is being a dick, what should I do?”

Either way, having other women who have your back or can talk you off the ledge is invaluable for those scary days. Don’t try and get through your fear by yourself. By the way, have you ever told your husband/friend/parent that you’re scared or feeling crappy about your business, and they replied “oh, maybe you should just get a job then?”

GRRRRR.

Obviously, they meant it with love – afterall, they can’t understand why you can’t just make your life a little easier and just live a “normal life”. Not everyone understands the fears associated with running a business, so be careful who you speak to when you’re feeling down. If you need some business reassurance, talk to someone who is qualified to help you (Qualified = non attached, sees you as your highest potential and someone who has achieved success in their own life). Don’t take advice from people who aren’t successful – it’s literally not their business and don’t use your friends and family as mastermind partners.

Action – set up a Skype date with someone awesome or start your own mastermind

2. Clean up some physical shit

I am super super messy, I’ll admit it. (My mum never gets tired of reminding me I used to stash wet and dirty towels under my bed in an effort to “clean up” my room). After a few days of feeling stagnant, I cleaned up my office and damn, that feels so good. I even burned some sage like a true hippie.

It’s also lovely being surrounded by pretty things. My desk was covered in piles of crud and now it’s all clean and lovely. I can see my Goddess Fortuna statue. My to-do list is front and centre and I’m ready to go. I’ve got easy access to my calculator and some space clearing spray when I need a pick me up.

Basically, being surrounded by mess can make the fear feel worse. You feel like you’re literally trapped under a pile of crap. Clearing clutter really works.

Action – spend 5 minutes cleaning up

3. Deal with that emotional shit

It’s okay to get emotional and have a day or two feeling sorry for yourself. But you don’t have to stay there for long. Most fear stems from this yucky feeling that we’re flawed or not good enough. Yup – that totally sucks and can start a shame spiral which is the exact opposite of awesomeness.

Break that pattern of being hard on yourself and remember that everyone is human. Just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. Just because your article had a typo in it, doesn’t mean that anyone is going to die (not even of embarrassment) and just because you’re scared, doesn’t mean that you’re not meant to be successful.

Action – forgive yourself and move on. Put your hand on your heart and recite, “It’s my time and I’m ready for the next step”

4. Make a list

Sometimes you’re scared to start or complete a project because you really don’t know what needs to be done. I’ve sat at my desk many a time, freaking out about something when the reality was actually really easy and painless. Shining a light on what’s stressing you out is the quickest way to eliminate the “False Evidence Appearing Real” syndrome. I love Kiki K grids to organise my to-do list but any “month at a glance” grid will do. Each square gets it own action item and you can tick them off as you go.

Write a list of…

• Everything you need to do to finish off the project
• Everything that’s bugging you in your business
• The worse case scenario of That Thing you’re scared about
• 10 things you can do to manifest money quickly
• 30 solutions to your problem

Action: ease your fear by writing a list

5. Write some love notes to yourself

Grab a whiteboard marker and write love notes to yourself all over the house, on windows, closet doors and bathroom mirrors. (This my bathroom mirror – it says “Smile, you’re beautiful” and “Today is your lucky day!”)

Sometimes that fear comes from thinking ugly thoughts…

• I can’t do this
• I’m really a failure
• I’m not as good as ___
• Who am I to be this successful?

Action: Remind yourself that even though you’re scared, you deeply and completely love and accept yourself

6. Self care works wonders

Spend $15 and get your nails done, two bucks in one of those mall massage chairs or take yourself on a movie date. It’s a great way to break the pattern of wallowing in your fear.

This goes doubly if you’re working from home by yourself. Days and days without a shower or changing out of your yoga pants can make the fear seem even worse because you’re basically isolating yourself from the real world. It doesn’t have to cost that much money, in fact, you’ve probably got a bunch of unused gift vouchers hiding away in a desk drawer. By the way, spending $50 on a professional blow dry will make you feel like a million bucks. It’s totally one of my manifesting secrets. Good hair = manifesting mojo.

Action: Get out and do something that will make you feel good

7. Reconnect to your purpose

To get deep for a second, I truly believe that business is a vehicle for the most intense personal development in the world (maybe second to having a baby). So, next time you feel fear, tell yourself it’s a completely normal reaction to living your life in an extraordinary way.

Your fear only has to be greater than your purpose by a little bit to create a truly extraordinary life.

“The lion takes its fierceness from your fear.
Walk up to the lion, and he will disappear.
Run away and he runs after you.”

Florence Scovel Shinn

Now go back to changing the world.

August 2013 Issue