I challenge you to take the five strategies below and consistently use them!

Making changes in the way that we do things is hard at times (I get it!) but that is an excuse that will get you nowhere! Instead motivate yourself to become the best person you can be and commit to creating exactly what you want in your relationships and in your life!

Remember, you want your relationship(s) to be a place where each person feels accepted, appreciated and understood. These are the prerequisites for a healthy and successful relationship. I believe in you and I know that you can and will create the relationship(s) of your dreams. Get out there and do it!

1. Get Clear on What You Want

Having clarity on what you want in your relationship(s) is the single most important step that you can take towards creating what you desire. You must know what you want in order to create it! Here is the truth, if you aren’t thinking about what you want no one else is! The more you think about what you want, the more others will too! It’s simple. That alone will drastically change your relationship(s). When you get clear on what you want to create in your life and in your relationship(s) your partner then has the opportunity to get clear too. I want you to now visualize your ideal relationship. Close your eyes… how does this relationship make you feel? Who are you being in this relationship? What are you doing? Where are you going? What is around you? What are the sensations that you are feeling? Feel how it will feel to be in your dream relationship. Now recognize how easily you were able to bring yourself to that place. You can go there anytime. I encourage you to think about your ideal relationship and feel how it will feel to have that on a daily basis. Spend five minutes a day doing this and you will ultimately be more connected to that vision, which will allow you to bring into the physical more easily.

2. Share Your “Vision” with your Partner

This next step is highly important to attaining the relationship(s) of you dreams. Sharing your desires with your partner is highly important because in order for that person to successfully be in a relationship with you, they must first know what it is that you are looking for. Before you share your desires and wants with your partner, get clear on how you want your partner to feel during and after receiving this information. Do you want your partner to feel appreciated and loved while listening? Do you want your partner to feel inspired and confident after your discussion? Verbalize your desires and wants to your partner. Remember, it is not a secret… share! The more open you are and the more you share, the more your partner will do the same. By sharing your wants and desires in a clear and loving way, you create the opportunity for some growth or deeper connection to take place. It is always beneficial to show your partner what you want and mirror that for them. This will allow your partner to understand and literally experience what you are looking for. It is clear and easy to understand. Also, you can’t expect the best from your partner if you are not giving the best yourself.

3. Create situations where the relationship can succeed 

Did you know that what you focus on expands! It’s simple. If you are always focused on what is not working then you will expand more of what doesn’t work. There is good news… if you focus on what makes you feel amazing, more of that will expand in your life. This simple and easy tool can make a huge difference in your relationship(s). Think about it… if you are consistently focusing on what is lacking in your relationship(s) and not working, what do you think you are expanding? The answer is negativity. Now don’t become discouraged if this is something that you are currently doing in your relationship(s). This is a habit that can be quickly changed. It does take some practice to change your thoughts and change your habits… but it can be done if you make it a priority. I challenge you brainstorm some other ideas for ways that you can focus your thoughts and energy on what you want and not on what you don’t want. Practice makes perfect. Now you are ready to set your relationship(s) up for success.  How can you do this? Easy… give your partner the opportunity to succeed. Your partner cannot succeed if you are always focused on what is lacking or what he or she is doing wrong. Get it? It is easy to focus on what your partner is doing wrong, but guess what… it is just as easy to focus on what your partner is doing right!

4. Communicate with love and respect

Having open communication in your relationship(s) is essential. Before we move forward, I want you to define open communication and what it means to you. This means something different to everyone. If you are feeling like you could use some more communication in your relationship(s) here are a few easy things you can do. (1) Choose to always be open and honest with your partner. Don’t hold back. If something is exciting you, share! If you are feeling overwhelmed or upset with something, share! If you are looking for some support, share! Keeping things to yourself keeps your partner out of the loop. If you feel uncomfortable sharing certain things with your partner, you can use the idea of framing the conversation by saying “Is it okay if I tell you how I am really feeling right now?” This gives your partner the opportunity to say yes or no. It is their choice! (2) Make sure you are sharing your feelings with compassion. Don’t use your partner as a punching bag or as someone to complain to. Instead, use your partner as a person who can cover your “blind spots” in situations and help you to create and find solutions. (3) Choose to replace your judgments with appreciation and gratitude. Instead of being judgmental in your communication with your partner, choose to communicate with love and gratitude for having that person in your life. (4) Remind yourself to never assume, instead enter situations in your relationship(s) with curiosity. The difference between being presumptuous and being curious is worlds a part. By being curious, you are allowing your partner to add clarity to the situation. Communicate with love and you will expand more love. Communicate with compassion and you will expand more compassion. Communicate with understanding and you will expand more understanding. Whatever it is that you are looking to grow in your relationship(s) can be started through communication.

5. Fall in love with yourself

This is the last step in this guide to creating the relationship of your dreams. This may sound weird to you but it is just as important to love yourself, as it is to love the person who you are in a relationship with. The more you love yourself the more you can love others. Here is my tip: practice loving yourself! Show yourself the love that you desire in your relationship(s). Be that person for yourself. This will allow you to feel complete and loved without the outside affection. Loving yourself and having confidence in your ability to fill up your own love tank will allow you to be more relaxed and successful in your relationship(s). People who do not love themselves or who are not confident have problems in their relationships because they look for the other person to make them happy. This is all wrong! It is your job to make you happy! It is your partner’s job to be the cherry on top! You are the ice cream! Fall back in love with yourself. Treat yourself with the love that you desire from others. Give yourself the compassion that you have always craved from your relationships. Do things that will help you to grow your confidence and expand your comfort zone. Focus on doing things that make you feel good. All of these things will lead to you being the best version of you, which will allow you to attract and create the relationship that you have always dreamt about.

Soak it all in…

It is on you to raise your energy, get clear on what it is that you want and then be brave enough to go and get it. Know that you have all the power and own the fact that you can create the most incredibly loving, joy filled and passionate relationship(s) that surpass your wildest imagination. Feel the excitement and get ready to make some changes because you now have the tools to create amazing relationships with those around you.

Soak it up!

May 2013 Issue