Do You Have Shame in Your Game?
When you do something “wrong,” how long do you carry around the burden of punishment and shame?
It’s been a while since the shadow of shame has fallen across my shoulders…I won’t go into all the details, yet I found myself last weekend betraying the trust of loved ones. In their hurt, I wanted to hide, be punished, push all love away. Shame took hold of my body and for a moment, I didn’t want to exist.
Yet, I knew, deep down, this wasn’t my truth. My interpretation of my actions and choices, and that of my friend’s judgments were completely different, and I was allowing their judgment of me in that moment, to become more important then my own knowing and self-esteem.
Fortunately, I have seeped myself in the wisdom of the divine, a field where there is no right or wrong, and have done enough inner-work to free myself rather quickly from the burden of punishment and shame.
In fact, if I were to interview 1000 people, I could end up with 1000 different interpretations of the event.
What matters most, is who you know yourself to be and how you go from here.
I am grateful and proud to say that I can face myself and I can face others despite their opinions with love and confidence. I can give love and I can receive love freely and without guilt or expectation. I am worthy and I am wiser and more deeply committed to certain choices from my life experiences.
This is the purpose of life, to continue to unfold in the reflection of the divine. When sh*t happens, celebrate, and course correct.
When greatness happens, celebrate and continue choosing the light. Staying stuck in shame only distracts you from the dream possibilities you desire and deserve.
Looking at my life-long journey in relationship to shame, I noticed there were 4 stages. I seem to be entering into the 4th which is to never experience shame or probably enlightenment. I’ll let you know when I get there.
Where do you find yourself?
- Perform Action. Feel Shame. Carry it and Feelings of Unworthiness. Continue to Punish Self for length of time.
- Perform Action. Feel Shame. Release It. Feel Guilty for Not Punishing Self Longer. (Worried other’s think you are uncaring, immoral, etc.)
- Perform Action. Feel Shame. Release It. Move Forward with Peace Quickly.
- Perform Actions Freely.
After reading through this, you may be wondering how to release shame. I have found a few different ways, but this is basically all you need.
- Identify where you are creating judgment around your experience rather then listening for the wisdom. Clear your judgments and have appreciation for experience and growth.
- Identify where you are taking on others’ judgments and making them more meaningful then yours. Clear this and return any judgments to Sender.
- Carry on!
If you’d like an additional step to aid in any karmic clearing and deepen you commitment to creating a shameless world:
- Examine where you may be now, or in the past, have made others wrong for their actions, and send them love and light. Also, send love towards yourself for doing what you thought was right at the time. Some people may call this forgiveness.
- Continue to let go of expectation and judgement, and expand your energy out rather then shut down when chaos arises.
Can you feel just how much more freeing this is?
How much more ease and grace and joy can continue to be your foundation for flow and life creation when you live this way?
Life doesn’t have to be painful or full of punishment, if you decide. The choice is yours.
Loved your calling out of shame … of standing in who you are rather than the story another has woven around you.
How many times have I done that … put on a cloak of another’s wounded expecations woven from threads of their experiences with others, their outlook … rather than my own truth.
I recognize myself entering into the fourth cycle too … hopefully we’ll meet up there one day!
Inspiring article!
Asha, I am so glad you have found your freedom to dance naked in your truth! Wishing you more beautiful authentic living <3 4th cycle here we come xo