Recently a friend asked, “Hey, Steph, my hubby isn’t 100% sold on my side hustle and it’s really making me feel a little down what can I do to get him on board?”

One of the most difficult parts of starting your dream business is figuring out what that means for your close relationships. More specifically your marriage.

Entrepreneurship is scary and outside the norm. We tend to fear those things we don’t understand, so it’s very possible your hubby isn’t sure about how it’s really going to work out. Plus, depending on your financial situation it could be a major weight for both of you trying to figure out how your biz is going to bring in the MONEY!

I hear this question all the time and it’s so understandable. If you struggle with getting your honey on board with your side biz this video is for you! Check out my simple three step system for getting on the same page and working through whatever is worrying your sweetie pie.

Your biz and marriage will thank you!

How To Get Your Hubby On Board with Your Side Hustle

The Three Step System:

Step 1: Empathy

First it’s really important to empathize with where your sweetie is coming from. It’s pretty likely there is some worry on his mind whether it’s the feasibility of your business, how much money you aren’t making yet or maybe this whole entrepreneurship thing is just really new to him. It’s completely understandable for him to be worried because most of us were probably brought up thinking we’d work for someone else so working for yourself is a total paradigm shift. Even if it hurts, the first and most important step is to let him know you really hear his concerns and you want him to be comfortable.

Say something like, “I really appreciate you bringing up your concern about the fact that we’re not spending as much time together since I’m spending so much time on my business. That makes total sense and I see where you’re coming from.”

This is just about meeting him where he is and letting him know he’s heard. This alone will bring down his guard and pave the way for a constructive conversation.

Step 2: Ask Open Ended Questions

Open ended questions are simply questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no.” These types of questions help you to uncover the real concern. Some examples would be:

▪ What are your fears about my business?

▪ What are your concerns about my business?

▪ What do you worry about with regards to my business?

The important thing here is to continue asking thoughtful and open-ended questions (in a really open and welcoming way) until you get to the bottom of where the negativity is coming from.

Even if you think you know what his concern is, still dive a bit deeper with these questions so you can make sure you understand. Sometimes the problem is something totally different than what either of you thought. It’s very possible he isn’t even fully aware of his worries, but if you continue to gently ask until you get to the bottom of it you will help him uncover just where the negativity is coming from. And if you find that he’s a bit resistant then let the discussion cool down a bit and revisit it when you are both ready.

Once you think you’ve uncovered the issue I want you echo it back to him to be sure, it may sound a little silly but this will work. So, for example I want you to say, “I am hearing you say that you (INSERT CONCERN). Is that correct?” If you are both on the same page about what the problem is then move to step 3.

Step 3: Collaborate

Once you have gotten to the root of the problem it is time to work together to create a solution that works for both of you. Because above all it is:

▪ Your job is to work hard on your biz and work with him to ease his concerns.

▪ His job to help you towards your dreams and become more comfortable and supportive.

Relationships are a two way street and it’s important that you have your partner’s buy in and support. Ask him what would help him to feel more comfortable.

▪ Perhaps his fear would be eased with a document that shows the projections you have for the next year of your business.

▪ It could be that a non-negotiable dedicated weekly date night would help him feel more important and connected in the hectic side-biz schedule you’re running.

▪ Maybe he just wants to talk with you more about what’s going on in your business.

▪ Perhaps he just wants to hear about the wins you are having.

▪ Sometimes our loved ones just want to feel needed and so it’s a great idea to loop them in on things when it’s appropriate.

Above all it’s important to remember that you’re a team and you both need to be happy and fulfilled. You can remind him that you would regret not going after this dream and you really want his support. Sometimes we don’t express how strongly we feel about our side hustle and that can be the root of all the problems.

Commit to communicating openly and honestly. Your business and relationship are worth it!

Take Action Now!: In the comments below I’d love to hear about a side biz tiff you and your honey ran into and how you got through it. Or, if you’re currently experiencing an issue in your relationship as a result of your side biz, and you’d feel comfy, I’d love to help you work through it. Let us know in the comments below!

February 2014 Issue