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I recently submitted to an ebook on “Expectation Hangover” for Christine Hassler (And she coined this term.) Don’t you love it – describes the feeling perfectly! I wrote about relationships. But as I did, I realized I was suffering a 2nd expectation hangover, this one based on my new life.

I moved to Florida over a year ago, with great expectations. Dream job. Dream city. Dream life.

I quickly realized that things were not going reach “dream” level. I wasn’t getting paid in a timely fashion. Moving was expensive. Living was expensive. It was hard to meet people. I was discouraged. Scared. Lonely. And then it got worse. The job was gone (due to no fault of my own, I might add. The company couldn’t pay their bills.). So there I was. In a new city for less than a year. With just a few friends, a small network, and no job. My expectations were completely, and thoroughly dashed.

But what I had was an idea. A couple actually. A dance class that was fitness based. That made women strong, and sexy, and had fun. And a coaching service for professionals who were scared to death of public speaking. I decided to take those skills I had learned in dance and theatre and start making money, for myself.

I also had people who believed in me. I have only a small group of friends here, but they are powerful, inspiring, and encouraging. When I get discouraged, distracted, or just don’t know what to do next, I can count on them to guide me, help me, focus me.

My expectations about my move, and what my new job and new life would be like were not met. In fact, they were so horrifically missed, I did indeed feel like I had an “expectation hangover”– “But it was so good at the time!” And then I realized – by having these expectations not be met, it left room for new expectations, new opportunities. And I decided to seize them!

I do still suffer from “expectation hangover” with my new ventures. I’m a big dreamer, with an active imagination. I am impatient, so I want those dreams and images to be true, NOW. I set big goals. And when I don’t achieve them, or I see others getting there first, I get frustrated. Angry. And get a bit of an “expectation hangover”.

I need to make those moments the same clarity-bringing opportunities that my first big setback was. I’m in charge of my expectations. If I get an “expectation hangover”, it’s something only I can cure. I set the expectations, Each time I don’t get what I expected, it is a time to reevaluate, reframe and refresh. I can adjust my goals or my timetable. I can assess what is working, and what isn’t. And then, go after it, hard. Tenacity is my best trait. Each time I say “That wasn’t what I expected” is a chance to show off that part of my character, a chance to get stronger and smarter.

I’ve made it through some SERIOUS “That wasn’t what I expected!” moments in the past 2 years. But they really were blessings. Because here I am. Creating my life, as MY life.

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November 2013 Issue