{}

I used to be an over-sharer.

It’s my nature, especially if I’m really in a tizzy about something. When it comes to business ideas, goals, and pipe dreams the minute it crosses my mind my first inclination is to blurt it out to anyone within ear shot.

Funny thing is, I realized that despite conventional wisdom, when I keep my goals to myself they seem to spring to fruition in a beautiful and organic way that can’t be achieved with an audience.

Call it what you may -silent synchronicity or sacred strength- the quiet path to achievement affords unparalleled clarity and grace.

Gabbing about your goals is a meritorious act if public accountability is your strategy of choice. But the public proclamation may not be the one-size-fits-all performance enhancement strategy so widely embraced.

If you’ve never contemplated guarding your goals, allow me to argue my case.

Self-Validation Is Enough

My over sharing began a result of my need to cultivate outside approval of my thoughts and ideas. If I was excited I wanted everyone else to be excited too, because in my mind that was somehow indicative of the odds of my success. The problem was, if they weren’t equally enamored the wind was whipped out of my sails quicker than you can say “people pleaser.”

Many desires and goals died a quick death at the hand of a well-meaning practical confidant.

The feeling of watchful eyes and the heat of pragmatic criticism crushed me and incinerated my passions.

Then one day I realized my goals were sacred and personal and it didn’t actually matter what anyone else thought. I realized that by seeking approval from the people around me I was undermining the value of my self-validation. Not to mention the fact that I was abandoning goals and ideas that felt good intuitively.
Intuition is enough. Self-validation is enough.

All The Glory None of the Guts

Beyond the need for group validation, the temptation to share my heart’s desire was often triggered by a very specific withdrawal.

After revealing a goal or desire an inexplicable euphoria washed over me. In the moments before my well-meaning confidants shot holes through my soul’s callings like they were at target practice, I could feel myself on a high.

Flushed, exposed. Sweeter than chocolate. Softer than silk.

I’ve heard it called an idea orgasm. Breathless, euphoric, raw. It was as though I could feel myself experiencing the sensation of realizing that goal without being a single step closer to making it a reality.
All of the glory, none of the guts.

Our minds are so powerful that we experience the sense of achievement simply by imagining it.

At best, motivation suffers, at worst, it’s completely diminished.

By blasting my goals over the proverbial loud speaker I was reaching this heightened state, a state second to none, without actually achieving anything.

The Soul Appreciates Discretion

I sincerely believe our souls appreciate discretion with our sacred goals.

Gifts from our muse, wants of our soul–not for public consumption.

The exploitation of our innermost desires seems wrong and insensitive. When your soul  bestows a gift upon you, handle it with kid gloves. Shield and protect your idea sapling until it’s rooted enough to endure the strong winds of doubt and criticism.

I’ve learned my lesson and now hold my most sacred desires and goals very close until they’ve been infused, deeply and inextricably, into my life . I know myself enough to realize that I run the risk of cheapening my callings and cheating my desires by carelessly tossing them into conversation.

I know that I need to be fully committed to my path before I verbalize it and I am certain that I am not alone in that need.

Strip Down Your Motivation

Before you divulge your innermost desires strip down your reason for disclosure and pinpoint exactly what you hope to gain from the big reveal. If you are seeking outside approval or are jonesin’ for the jolt of make-believe achievement do yourself a favor and keep it under wraps.

Batten down your commitment, sweat and bleed in the name of your dreams and only then gear up for the big reveal or quiet roll out.

Delaying gratification makes the actualization of your soul goals (and idea orgasm) that much sweeter.

Take Action Now: In the comments below let me know: Do you guard your dreams or share with anyone who will listen? What strategies do you use for true accountability?

Comments

comments

December 2013 Issue