For every woman who’d love to have crowds shout her name, there are thousands of others who get terrified just thinking about this happening to them. This was demonstrated in an episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”

Kim is being hounded by the papparazzi as she joins her stepbrother, Brandon and his wife Leah at a yogurt shop. For those who don’t know, Brandon and Leah Jenner are fledging singers. Kim is nonplussed and her body guard steps in and deals with the aggressive photographers. Kim tells Brandon and Leah that “you need a thick skin” and that lack of privacy comes with the territory. However the viewer can easily see that Leah is appalled and scared by the spectacle. Leah later reveals that she’s been dragging her feet about releasing their new album because she’s afraid that success will ruin her relationship with Brandon.

Leah is so afraid of the downside of fame that she’s willing to sacrifice her talent, as well as any possible upsides that come with spreading her musical gifts. Her fear of success is also blinding her to the possibility that a non-music circumstance could be the undoing her of marriage. The worst case scenario for Leah is that she sacrifices her musical dreams and still loses the guy.

Are you like Leah?

Is your fear of success sabotaging your efforts to grow your business and increase your income? You say that you want more clients but you won’t do what’s necessary to speak to qualified prospects—online or in person. For instance you find excuses not to network or to follow-up with prospects; you have a newsletter but you never ask subscribers to work with you; and you fail to make scheduling enrollment conversations a priority in your business.

The first step to manifesting your best life is to acknowledge and release your fears of success. One core fear that women experience is that that success will lead to them to being abandoned by loved ones. Women fear success because they’re afraid that if they become powerful enough to transform their businesses and their lives, this same power will render them unlovable. Additionally women fear that the more successful that they become, the more that they’ll be attacked by critics, or besieged by friends and relatives wanting money or favors.

The reality is that when you change (and earn more money), your relationships also change. Some friends will always cheer you on. Others however will be less supportive. In terms of your haters—your success shines a bright light on their stagnation. I ask my coaching clients who have this concern: “What kind of relationship do you have if the only way that it can survive is by you ‘playing small’ and sacrificing your dreams?”

If you have a fear of success here are some helpful questions that you can use to examine your feelings. Take at least 15 minutes and write down your answers:

• How will my friends and family react if I accomplish this goal?
• How will my life change?
• What’s the worst that could happen if I achieve this goal?
• What’s the best that could happen?
• Why do I feel that I don’t deserve to accomplish this goal?
• Is this goal something that I really care about?
• What am I currently doing (or not doing) that’s sabotaging, or hurting, my own efforts?
• What’s one step can I take immediately to stop those self-sabotaging behaviors?

August 2013 Issue