Yoga teaches us that the birth into the power of presence only occurs after surrendering self – that we only gain power by surrendering our daily consciousness into a deeper sense of awareness.

Ugh. I used to hate that word surrender .

It conjured up beliefs of weakness, spiraling out of control into the crazies.  Complete vulnerability to victimhood.

Total f**ing freak out!  A grinding sound of the brakes of a mac truck reverberated through my mind.

My body temporarily wilts in response to the fierceness of the belief itís a path to victimhood.

Subordination isn’t exactly the same as surrender, is it?

My mind mulls over this concept (of course) before I let the thought go.

The resistances born to protect these fears seem made of steel.

Fortified by the forging of searing hot pain embodied somewhere deep yet lost.

So I breathe.  Deeply into my body.

Just like yoga taught me.

When all else fails take a deep breath and let it all go like surrender to the moment.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Repeat.

Breathe in to the count of four: pause for one breath count; then expand into six counts of exhalation breath deep from the belly.

Relax.

The steel melts away into a liquid stream of molten red and gold and pools with cerulean blue seas and becomes swirls of steam.

I remember a beautiful song by Sarah McCaughlin where she sings of surrender being sweet.

I reflect upon this sound for a moment and feel my shoulders relax into the strength of my spine.

Another thought now an inspirational article I  once read, that suggested I think of my fears as paper tigers.

My imagination conjures up for me the image of paper tigers.  Snarling as the slink through the shadows of my mind.

Roar!

So what if I considered this belief that my fears were made of steel and instead believed they were just numerous paper tigers vying for power?  Like who could roar the loudest or something silly like that.

The resistance seemed less fierce. Tigers become kittens and bounce off into the meadows, tumbling into softness.

Somehow now I’ve reached the summit at the peak of the mountain.

I see below the path to search for the lost civilization of serenity and peace..somewhere far from the madding crowd of my mind, I seek that place in my center I know will bring me back to source of serenity.

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Clarity.  Calmness.  Serenity and strength embodied through my being.

Paper tigers run rampant through the tangled jungle undergrowth until I hear their fierce growls a whisper in the distance.

I rest in stillness and let the wisdom rise from this place of great insight and intuition.

As I simply breathe in, breathe out in the syncopated rhythm of 4-1-6, in relax deeply into my body and she opens to receive me.

My mind expands to allow for the sweetness of  this surrender

I trust my mind will soon be flooded with the light of insight, deeper awareness that soothes me deeply in body, mind and spirit.

I drink deeply from this place of source of vitality and lifesforce energies my soul and spirit thirst for.

Once again I am restored and revitalized.

February 2014 Issue