What Does Your Journey to Happiness Look Like?

{photo by Kim Bajorek, model Kristen Crawford}

Many of us look for happiness…but what is happiness, anyway? In honor of National Happiness Month (yes, that’s a real thing), I wanted to write about happiness and what it means to me. I’d also love to learn more about what it means to you.

Let’s begin with a definition:

hap·pi·ness noun \ˈha-pē-nəs\: the state of being happy : an experience that makes you happy

The definition seems simple enough, right? And if it’s easy to define, we shouldn’t have trouble finding it, right? That’s where things get a little sticky and confused.

See, I’m convinced that finding happiness is one of the many quintessential, common, and colorful journeys of human existence.

When I started my wellness coaching practice last year, I noticed that I felt a bit…well, empty inside.
Was there something wrong with me? Was I broken? Was I unhappy?

The answer to all of those is no. I simply didn’t feel complete. Something was missing. This year, I was pushed to my limits and decided to explore what it means to be happy and to experience joy. Before I continue any further, I need you to understand one thing.

Being happy isn’t about a smiling face 24/7.
Geez. Can you imagine if someone like that existed?
Me: My dog died. Smiling Happy Person: OMG, that’s so great!! Tee-hee!!!! Me: *stare*
WTF. That would be terrible. So I’m just going to say this once:
We’re allowed to have ups and downs. The good and the bad. The McLovely and the McNasty.

Back to the story…
The more I delved within myself to find my own happiness…the further away I seemed to get from happiness.

I mean, in general, I felt content: I’m a 20-something woman, born and raised in NYC, with my own apartment, running my own business and I’ve a bevy of amazingly supportive friends. How could I not be happy? The more I thought about it, the more I realized: Everything in my life is exactly as I’d like it to be. Okay. So what next?

Confused, and like a true nerd, I decided to do some research in addition to my soul-searching. I consulted books, blogs, and friends. Tim Ferris, Marie Forleo, Danielle LaPorte, Saar Grolleman, Pamela Green, Serena Andrews, to name a few of the resources I utilized.

I received 5 important takeaways from the aforementioned books/blogs/friends:

Perception. How you are perceived and how you want to be perceived by others and yourself is important.

Creating habits. To create habit, take small steps to ensure that changes become routine

Cultivating patience. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but if you stick with it, the results will be profound.

Personal growth. Learning a new skill can greatly stimulate your mind and the growth it instills leads to happiness.

Be your nerdy self. Because that’s all you can be at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try to avoid your inner nerd.

Stroking my beard, I felt quite accomplished and satisfied with the takeaways I had discovered. I realized that in order to continue on the path to finding happiness, I just needed to do me…

Yep. That’s it. Doing me means focusing on cultivating more self-love (which is what I’m all about, anyway). In order for me to do that, I need to start focusing on taking better care of myself–doing what I love to do and what I’m passionate about. The little things in life that require a bit more time and TLC that are always the most profound.

Finding happiness is a lifelong journey–there’s no need to rush.

To help me embody more of who I am and who I want to be, I’ve been using this really neat app called Lift to keep track of my daily habits self-love + self-care habits.

I believe that the following habits, followed consistently, will make me happy:

Getting massages, dancing, doing yoga, meditating, drinking more water, taking better care of my skin, studying Japanese/French/Korean, saying morning affirmations, creating art, coaching my clients, meeting new people, and writing everyday.