Sacred Sassy Heroine: This is the every day goddess within each woman. It is she who harnesses the unfeigned feminine energy that makes you divine. She embraces all-she-is and struts it like she means it. Monday was the full moon. This cosmic event serves as a reminder to crack out of your proper exoskeleton and reconnect with the howling sister within. She is sacred. She is sassy. She is YOU. And she is a Heroine.

Uh oh, I just realized something I’ve been doing is really kind of lame!

Before I make my big embarrassing confession, I’ll share with you how this flaccid behavior has left me craving more…

Those of you who know me are aware of the less than predictable detour I’ve been on this last year. Accusations ranging from exhibiting mid life crisis symptoms, to being just plain bat-shit crazy have been looping in the background of my mind.

Ahem, thank you concerned friends and family members.

Although my sojourn has been rich with wonder and mystery, I continue to find myself still wanting. It’s as if half way through the meal my food starts to taste like sand, and my belly isn’t quite full.

I’ve attributed this to things like being in transition, homesickness, and general life and business restructuring.

Don’t ya hate (or love) when you suddenly see thru your own BS?

The Two Big Fat Life Altering Ahas:

The Mystery, knowing the not knowing.

Never before in my 42 years of being alive have I been more assured of how much I do NOT know.

“I don’t know” has been my prevailing mantra this year. It was terrifying, then acceptable, and eventually became a comforting relief.

Back when I knew, (or thought I did) the horizon was limited. There was only the path I knew, the one I was on. It had a finite number of options, rules, and outcomes.

When I left that known path and plunged head first into the mystery of not knowing, the horizon opened exponentially.

AHA: Suddenly anything is possible. Click, all doors were unlocked. It is exciting, intimidating, and surreal. (yes, Alice in Wonderland is currently my premiere archetype!)

No greater than a speck of dust, no lesser than a God/dess!

What do I want? What is really important to me?

While wandering around in this wonderland of possibility is magical, it’s also disconcerting. In the land of the unknown my only map is my craving, desire and values.

Who am I?

AHA: Of course I know the answer to this! Hello helping other women figure this out for themselves is what I do for a living!

Somewhere along the lines I forgot that I’m being made new over and over again. With this steady refreshing of my internal pages, it is mandatory I re-visit the big question over and over again. Duh.

As I’ve become more comfortable in the passive role of not knowing, I have neglected to dig down deep to keep asking myself this prize question, “Even though you don’t know, If you DID know what you wanted, what you really really craved, Kara, what would that be?”

I began to tap into this last week. I knocked on the wall of my not knowing and heard something unexpected. A dam of desire I haven’t had the courage to consider was laying in wait. I’ve been afraid to even acknowledge it, let alone speak it out loud. Suddenly some of the less than satisfying manifestations make perfect sense. In certain domains of life I’ve got exactly what I asked for…not much. I made a deal with myself. I’m opening that dam, despite the perceived risk of drowning in my desire. Along with that is my willingness to face the next layers of unworthiness that are ready to be shed. Go ahead, call me a greedy girl, but damnit, I WANT MORE!

I’m enthused, excited, exhilarated, and titillated to accept more!

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December 2014 Issue