There is a reason why you’re supposed to put your own oxygen mask on first in the case of an emergency on an airplane. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.

Yet, many women sacrifice themselves for the sake of others – their jobs, volunteer obligations, family, children, friends, etc. The list could go on.

We naturally are inclined to take care of others.

The problem is that it usually results in us putting our own needs last.

Why is this a problem?

Because it results in burnout, poor health and weight gain … among other things. Basically, nothing that makes us feel good. And certainly doesn’t enable us to be fully present and there for those we’re wanting to support.

I know. I’ve been there.

This is embarrassing to admit, but for the sake of storytelling …

When I was still working corporate I found myself with a bad toothache. I knew it was something I couldn’t ignore. So, I finally made the appointment to go to the dentist. Not only did I have to get the tooth taken out, I also had 11 cavities. Now, I probably should have gotten a second opinion on the course of action, but I was in shock and upset.

How could I let this happen?

I’d never had a cavity in my life! Now, here I was at 25 with 11 cavities all of the sudden?

I realized that I wasn’t taking care of myself because I kept prioritizing my job over what I needed to do to be sure that I was healthy to continue to operate at a high level of performance. I hadn’t been to the dentist in over 2 years. If I’d been in for regular cleanings they could have either caught the problem or done what needed to be done to prevent the problem.

I felt a responsibility to the job. And I worked A LOT. So, how could I take time off for the dentist? It just meant I would have to work later to make up for it.

So I sacrificed myself to the cost of thousands of dollars and 2 days off of work anyway.

Was it worth it? Yes and no.

No, because it wasn’t worth the stress, cost or the effect on my health.

Yes, because it made me look at WHY I was working so hard.

But it shouldn’t have to come to that. My story is an extreme story, but not necessarily an unlikely one. ESPECIALLY when it comes to your children – I know you’ll invest whatever it takes for your child, but it’s SO hard to do the same for yourself.

Why?

If you’re not happy or present – whether figuratively or literally – to take care of them, then what is the point?

If there is any instance that pops into your head as you read my own story, chances are you’re guilty of sacrificing yourself for the sake of others.

Please don’t beat yourself up for that because you’re not alone.

The good news is that you’re now aware. So, you can be conscious of it and start to make small changes.

A few suggestions of easy changes …

• Waking up 20 minutes early so you get a bit of time to yourself in the morning
• Taking a full lunch so you can get away from your desk and go for a walk to refresh your mind
• Outsource your grocery shopping via Amazon Fresh or another delivery service
• Tell your loved ones that the Sunday at 12:30 yoga class is a commitment you need to make
• to yourself
• Hiring support in any other area of your life that is a frustration and not fun (e.g.: your clothes
• shopping!)

What can you commit to today to take care of yourself and just yourself? Feel free to share in the comments below and inspire others.

Comments

comments

burnout, entrepreneur, female business owner, May 2015 Issue, overwhelm, overworked, putting others first, putting yourself last, sacrifice, self-sacrifice, small business, stress, women business owner, women sacrifice, women stress