New Year’s Eve 2010, my friends and I gathered around their outdoor fireplace in a declaration of love.  Together, we honored my past and celebrated numerous transformations, burning 4 crates full of my old journals, credit card and bank statements, and any medical documents or insurance claims that at one point I let define my worth and me.  The next morning, I awoke giddy, incredibly free and inspired.  I found myself whole and with a future determined not by a past, but by a calling forth, deep inside of me. In these moments I learned one of the most important lessons in self-love: the art of letting go.

As I’ve moved deeper into my purpose of supporting women recover and reclaim the pieces of themselves tucked away by their shadows, limiting beliefs, fears, guilt and other sabotaging and addictive behaviors, this lesson has proven invaluable time and time again for both them and myself.

In order to practice self-love you must be present to the thoughts, ideas, and situations that attach themselves to you and distract you from your core values, your inherent beauty, and your divine nature.

You must be willing to become comfortable with death, letting go of these limitations, the voices that declare you less then, not good enough, or unworthy of living your ideal life. Self-love takes courage and commitment to a deeper surrender, moving you closer to your essence; first becoming bare and vulnerable, second learning faith and truth.

Self-love requires a willingness to throw your hands up in the air, to find your still point, against all chaos, and ask for support when a storm blows across your heart.  Even when your thoughts tell you otherwise, you must love yourself more tenderly and compassionately then ever before.  This is the law of attraction.

Practicing self-love means knowing yourself intimately and how to take care of your needs in a healthy and expanding capacity. It means loving yourself first, not waiting for someone else to approve or save you. For some, this journey of self-discovery is like staring into a cool dark ocean, not knowing what is underneath the surface or even how to begin to swim.

Self love means letting go of any shame or doubt that may arise in this process.  Without dissolution, these emotions become stagnant energy, creating toxicity in the body, and halting your spiritual freedom and ability to create.

Self Love means giving more time to yourself to learn what fuels your soul, what nurtures your physical and emotional body, your mind, and spirit.  It means letting go of all of the to-do lists, the should’s, and the have to’s that come from fear or scarcity.  When you come from a place of wholeness, clarity, and peace, your ability to create, attract, and achieve is so much greater, a reflection of healthy self love.

You may need to schedule extra time for yourself, especially in the beginning of this journey to really come to understand yourself, what supports your balance, and your ability to thrive, while honoring each and every piece that makes up your being.  It means surrounding yourself with people who are willing to support your process, to respect your feelings, and hold you accountable to the real you.  It means letting go of those things (and people) that don’t.

Self-love is a journey of commitment to the heart. In the beginning, you may find yourself drifting, experimenting, second guessing your self, or making decisions from a place of old habit, comfort, or instant gratification. If you find yourself here, don’t be alarmed, discouraged, or give up on yourself.  Rather ask the situation what lessons are being brought forth to support you in this journey, perhaps its greater compassion for the clients you will serve.

Channel this appreciation into your being and as you find yourself lit up, you’ll be attracted more and more to the decisions, people, places, and things that support this energetic vibration, are supportive of your self-actualization, abundant in nature, and fulfilling to spirit.   Letting Go will become easier and soon you’ll find yourself receiving and allowing more, in experiencing more of your natural state, in knowing yourself and your life as love.

This journey is a life long process.

Recently in my business, I was interviewed as a guest expert on affiliate partnerships.  While I was beyond excited prior to the interview, as I hung up the phone, an old yet familiar voice was heard.  It criticized my content, the sound quality, and even wondered if my partner regretted having asked to interview me.

In the past, these voices would have sent me under the covers, where I’d hide, vowing not to do another interview again.  Self Love in my business means letting go of these expectations and fears, connecting to a sense of humility or beginner’s mind, and focusing only on my purest intention of service.  It means showing up again and again, putting myself on the line to create the impact and the life I love.

Self Love is the art of letting go. Wipe the fog off the mirror and let the light of your essence shine through. Be willing to look.  Be willing to love.  Be willing to receive.  I see you and you are worth it.

August 2013 Issue