When you take a stand for something (even something as benign as being badass) and you– courageous you–step out into the spotlight of the world, news flashola: not everyone is going to like you.

Call it hateration. Call it harassment. Call it human nature.

It can come from family, it can come from strangers, it can even come from that wicked voice in your head.

As I step out into the world more, I deal with hateration. And sometimes words (that belittle, or crush, or accuse) give my heart a wee pinch. Just a tiny one, mind you. Like that feeling when onions make you tear—but not cry. Like that feeling when you trip over your feet—but don’t fall.

Just enough to make me pause. And breathe. And dig in to truth just a little bit deeper. I’m talking about the truth that makes your soul wanna twirl, as if it’s dancing the waltz. I’m talking about the truth that stirs your creative blood and wakes you up at 4am with a grand idea. I’m talking about the truth that has you stepping off the cliff of safety, ready to jump into unknown bliss.

Hateration, can either stop you dead in your tracks; Freeze! There’s a grizzly bear coming!

Or… it can be used as a place to pause, breathe, and dig into your power (in the form of love, trust, and a determination) … cuz that scary grizzly bear? It’s just other people’s fears.

Here are some ways I deal with cold words and callous people; go ahead and try em on next time you feel the hand of hateration (even if it’s coming from your own inner meanie)

Write a letter to your hater expressing your anger, sadness, hurt. Cuss, cut, and cajole with your words. Be witty! Be wise! Be whacky. Let it rip. And then send it… to the garbage… or the fire place. This activity is used to as a container to allow your energy to come pouring out—so you can let it go. In other words, don’t frame this letter and hang it in your living room, k?

Create a soothing (or ra-ra) mantra.  I will not be stopped. You can make fun of me. You can be mean to me. You can laugh at me. I will not be stopped. You can critique me. You can belittle me. You can yell at me. I will not be stopped. You can trip me. You can mock me. You can hate me. But I will not be stopped. Badasses, say it with me “I will not be stopped.” (my most recent personal response to a stranger’s opinion of me)

Get your cheerleading team on the phone. Sisterhood + support from women that lift you up and adore you. Don’t have it? Get it. This is life-altering stuff. N’ufff said.

Keep your head up. Have a list of quotes that cheer you up, inspire you, and/or make you laugh.  Like…

“Well behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”  Aristotle

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”  Winston Churchill

You’re claiming your place in the spotlight. Some might not like it. But that has nothing to do with your worth. Every woman has the right to take up space on this planet and be seen and heard.

April 2013 Issue