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Have you ever felt paralyzed in your life by worrying about what other people will think of you?

Even though you know what you want…

Even though you know what you need…

Even though you may even feel deserving of what you are asking for…

Even though you know all of these things, a certain kind of fear still hijacks your body in these moments of vulnerability.

Whether you want to choose a different restaurant then your husband, tell your boss that you can no longer work overtime on weekends, ask your clients for more money, the response can be the same…

What if they hate me?
What if they think I’m too much?
What if they think I’m too needy,
… too demanding,
… too in the way,
… too unworthy?

Your heart pounds, your throat constricts, and you get a knot in your stomach.

The flow of your life becomes uneasy as you and your opponent begin to wrestle.

I say opponent, because your physical and emotional triggers are responding as though this person is somehow a threat to your self-worth, your needs, your happiness, your choice, and your freedom at this time.

It makes sense. As humans, we are wired for connection.

In the book Daring Greatly by Dr. Brene Brown, she speaks about this innate desire to be connected with one another, without is suffering she says.

I believe this need to be connected in tribe, coupled with a history of terror when it comes to conflict, or thinking outside of the norm,I has made people-pleasing a coping mechanism or symptom of fear of being oneself.

Fortunately, we are waking up to a new way of being and are at the tipping point where we are redefining conflict, communication, and co-creation for ourselves.

And this is where the art of ritual can support your sacred strut.

Recently, I had a meeting with a lawyer who advised me to obtain two reports for my records from someone I care deeply about.  And even though I know that I legally need them, am entitled to them, and deserve them, my body froze.

I cringed, and then I laughed.  This was the perfect moment to put my own wisdom into place.

As I shared with him how I was feeling, he said, “What’s the worst that could happen, they say No? Then you are where you are right now and you’re ok.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, thought of you and every person who deserves to stand for their truth and put my request in.  I acted as the leader in my own life.

I’m still waiting to hear a response, but I’m happy to say that I no longer have any fear in my body, I have a strong knowing and sense of clarity in my body for what I am standing for, and I am practicing both surrender and ritual intention through this period of unfolding.

I know deeply, that whatever happens, divinity is working through us always, and I am ok.

If you have ever felt as though people pleasing has taken you away from your true desires or has stopped you in your tracks, here are a few rituals you can implement in your life to stay empowered.

Meditation

Take some time to breathe in a seated position. Send love to the places in your body that feel contracted.  Begin to relax as you feel your sit bones connected to the earth and supported.  Breath in love, exhale fear. Breath in truth, exhale peace.  Feel into your right to have whatever it is that you are wanting and feel your worth.  Repeat a mantra a few times taking the very vibration of the words into every cell of your body.  I am worthy of ________________ and ready to receive it with ease and grace.

Writing

Take out a piece of paper and write a script of how you want your conversation with your opponent to go if you could wave your magic want.  Start with your desires and the write word for word what you will say to ask for what you need or want.  Continue the dialog, writing down what you desire their response to be, and make sure to include a timeline of when you can expect delivery.  You may want to place this piece of paper on your alter or in a sacred box filled with your intentions, dreams, and other medicine tools. Your co-creation with the universe is more powerful then you may realize.

Clearing Work

Using some of the tools from Access Consciousness, you can begin clearing the energy that is making you feel stuck.  Consciously decide to clear:

a. Anywhere in your life you are making someone else more meaningful, important, or significant then you.
b. Anywhere in this lifetime or past lifetimes where you have decided that you are unworthy or too needy.
c. Anywhere you are still carrying around the pain, fear, or resentments in your body for being persecuted for speaking your truth.
d. Anywhere in this lifetime or past that you feel guilty or have been shunned for receiving what you desired.
e. Anywhere you are have decided that by you receiving what you want means less for someone else.

When you stay connected to your power and sense of self-worth… When you remember how abundant and supportive the universe is…  Your ability to live your sacred strut and create the life you dream of comes with much more ease, joy and magic.

How does it get better then this?

Let’s find out.

I’d love to hear from you the areas of your life you find stuck pleasing others despite your call for something else and whether you find these rituals or other helpful.

We are all connected… Let’s stand for each other’s freedom.

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December 2014 Issue