Ask A Heroine: Welcome to the experts corner, love. This is where you ask your burning questions on business and life, and receive personal advice from the best. Each month we feature amazing industry Heroines and their wise video answers to your deepest inquiries. Here, questions give way to solutions, insights transform into action, and more »
Sacred Sassy Heroine: This is the everyday goddess within each woman. It is she who harnesses the unfeigned feminine energy that makes you divine. She embraces all-she-is and struts it like she means it. Yesterday was the full moon. This cosmic event serves as a reminder to crack out of your proper exoskeleton and reconnect with the howling sister within. She is sacred. She is sassy. She is YOU. And she is a Heroine.
There is a time to create and… there is a time to destroy!
(There I said it. Yeah, you heard me.)
Most of us are familiar with our inner Ms Matrix, the Creatrix, The Bees Knees, the first gasp of ecstasy, your Femme Vitale, Spiral Sister, Essential Potential, the flow of life within, She who flirts with God, She who whispers, “I made that, and it rocks!”
Most of us are far less friendly with her shadowy twin sister. We regard her as the walking, talking train wreck. When she rears her Medusa bed head, we’re most apt to lock ourselves in a bathroom stall frantically repeating our calamity mantra, “Calm down CRAZY!”
Today we’re leaving love and the light, in the airy fairy, pie in the sky, unicorn princess upper world as we boldly burrow straight down into the dark underbelly, afterbirth, PMS, the chocolate is all gone, “oh Bitch, you didn’t”, Kali pit of Chaos! Yes we’re going in search of the cosmic jack hammer of destruction, instead of hiding from it.
Let me tell you why. Either we willingly dive into the eye of the storm, or we get repeatedly pummeled in the inevitable annihilation of old creations that have run their course and lost their potency. We have a choice, however I cannot emphasize enough, the choice is NOT whether you get to keep evolving. You must keep moving further ahead and creating your next as you watch your old comfort zone be reduced to ashes.
Your only choice is to willingly accept that this will happen over and over and…OVER, and to keep your finger on the pulse of change. As Kenny Roger’s used to sing to me from the pizza parlor jukebox,“You have to know when to hold em, know when to fold em”!
The ocean of your life is rarely steady. If you’re reading this you’re already in the water.
Biz Heroines are never ones to watch from the sidelines. You best learn how to surf, Doll, because the waves are going to get wicked. I promise you that.
Sure it all makes sense from your cozy cushioned spot on the couch of concepts, but what about IRL? What does it look like then?
Well in my life it looks like a seven year cycle, I attempted to stretch into its eighth year.
It felt like sitting in the bathwater long after the heat is gone, as in freezing cold, goose bumpy, teeth shattering stagnancy. It sounded like everyone in my life asking, “Really, you’re still taking that shit?” It tasted like the blood from biting my tongue and not telling my truth because I was afraid to end a business partnership that at one time had been so promising and fun.
What were the signs? Paychecks that came months late, un-negotiable contracts, $1000 pay cuts, entropy, breakdown, collapse, disorder, chaos, these were the neon signs I could no longer ignore.
Call it loyalty or dementia, it happened. I sat there while my career was unraveling right under my nose, losing clients, money, self respect, my patience, sanity, and finally I jumped ship right before the final flames of “ITS F’N OVER!” engulfed me. In hindsight I’ve done this many times in my life. The last time I clung too tightly to the expiring comfort zone of my career, it ended with a herniated disc and torn rotator cuff.
Here is the mandate of hope and prevention. Right now look around your life and ask what no longer fits, what once bright and shiny “YES”, is now a dull lifeless “meh”?
Where is there far more suffering than joy? Get the proverbial garbage sack out and start filling it. Donate, throw away, and say good-bye to that which no longer serves you.
Clear out the old in order to make way for the new exciting ideas that are waiting to birthed through you. You do not have to wait for the house to come tumbling down around you, you can just move on.
If your crazy keeps popping up in the most unexpected ways, chances are the time is now, something is ready to give. Here is a permission slip to let that feisty dame of destruction come up from the bowels of hell and do some housecleaning. You actually need her to wield her maniacal mace of madness and clear the canvas so your charming, sexy Ms. Matrix, the Creatrix can come back out to play!
So LET ER RIP, Girlfriend!
We’d love to hear from YOU…
What needs to be cleared in your life? Where is your life asking you to pay attention and make some changes? Leave your answer in the comments below!