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Kavita J. Patel is a Love Coach + Intuitive and has worked with thousands of successful, ambitious, busy women who are single and struggling to meet a soul mate at their level – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Quickly becoming the leading expert in Love today, Kavita has been coined a cross between Deepak Chopra and Judge Judy because of her spiritual-meets-practical methodology.
Studying ancient eastern philosophy since she was 10 combined with her no-nonsense approach helps women dive beneath the surface of superficial dating “rules” and change the patterns that have been keeping them from finding true love, and the soul mate they deserve.
Kavita’s signature course is called Soul Level Love. Hundreds of women have participated in and began their journey towards this kind of extraordinary love.
A regular media contributor, Kavita has been featured in FoxNews, CBSNews, Women’s Health Magazine, Women’s Day Magazine, and Time Out NY, and more. Enjoy her exclusive Business Heroine interview…
BH: How did you invent your own career and become a love coach? Tell us about your story.
Kavita: It was probably something that was right in front of my nose that I never knew I could do. I was ten years old, and my parents were in an arranged marriage. This doesn’t mean that every arranged marriage is contemptuous like my parents’ was, but they would fight a lot, and they didn’t get along. And even at a young age, I distinctly remember, they’d be fighting, and instead of running to my room or crying in a corner, I was getting involved. I was trying to translate between my parents.
And it was just this internal calling to get involved in their love life.
And from that moment onwards, I have been observing, analyzing and questioning relationships, communication and male and female dynamics most of my life.
And it’s been a journey.
I was in corporate America for eight years, as a consultant, and was looking for that calling. I met a woman who said she was a health coach, and something in those words resonated in me so deeply.
It felt like the right path.
So I left corporate America and went back to nutrition school and then starting pursuing my own health coaching practice, but about a year into it, I knew this wasn’t it.
And I SO wanted this to be in – to solidify it SO badly. But it just wasn’t jiving.
So I talked to a mentor of mine and told her it wasn’t feeling aligned, and she asked me some key questions…
One of them had me realize that my clients were actually seeing movement in their love lives, and to my mentor it was very clear – I needed to be a relationship expert.
But when I realized that, I freaked out.
BH: There’s something around choosing alignment above all else. When you heard the words “health coach,” there was something in them for you, and you wanted to discover that truth. So when you freaked out, what specifically were you freaked out about?
Kavita: Good question.
I think it was a couple things.
One was just the fear of my brain – the fear of knowing how to rebrand, redo, relearning and transferring all that you have now into a whole other business.
That’s what the head was saying.
And another part of my head was wondering if I could really be successful at this.
So, a lot of fears.
Anne: I hear that a lot with the emerging entrepreneurs. The thing that we’re actually best at, that’s so natural for us, is what we’re afraid to try. So let’s dive in and talk your intuitive ability to ground love into other areas of life.
Kavita: Love and money, love and business, love and calling, love and career are SO connected.
And I’ll use myself as an example.
I’m married, and we have been through a journey. In one sentence, I can sum it up: We went from breakup to makeup to marriage then close to divorce to being so connected and in love that I now talk about being married for over 8 years.
And I can honestly say, at several points in my life, I didn’t even know this kind of soul-level love even existed. It wasn’t something I had experienced, and I didn’t even witness examples of that around me.
So two years into being married, I was faced with him pulling away. And this had happened four years into us dating, too, when I thought we were going to get engaged. But instead, he broke up with me.
And I was torn up inside – a lot transpired over the year and a half that we were apart.
But in that moment I thought, “Okay, I’m going to figure out everything I did wrong everything I did right, everything he did wrong, everything he did right and then find my version of love.”
I thought that’s all I needed to do, and that I’d learned all I needed to learn.
And that was a real wake-up. I knew as smart as I am, as independent as I am, as successful as I am as a woman – I can’t figure this out by myself. So I sought out help. I went back to my spiritual gurus, went to seminars, got coached, and I learned from people that had what I wanted.
Through that process I started to see all these subconscious ways that I was sabotaging love. And I could see it in others, but I couldn’t see it for myself. I also saw that there was a gap in what I was learning.
I realized that I wasn’t able to move through my triggers that come up in the moment, even though I was aware of them.
So to crack the code, I started to try all these different things on myself and had these really profound conversations with my parents that just shifted the beliefs that I had completely.
And it completely transformed my relationship with my husband. I took on my side of things, and it transformed the entire relationship.
The connection to that with my work, my career and my calling was actually simultaneous.
And when I had this vulnerable conversation with my husband after having it with my parents, I told him my biggest fear. And it seems to be normal as I say it, but this was huge for me, and I actually kept it from him for years. So one of my biggest fears was that when we have kids, I was going to have to give them religion culture all by myself – that I didn’t have a partner in that with me.
I didn’t feel strong enough yet to do that, so I was nagging him and asking him to come to temple on the surface, but I had never told him my fear.
When I told him, I was met with open arms and reassurance, and that conversation was on the cusp of me stepping into my calling.
Anne: You mentioned that there were patterns you found yourself in. Can you tell us more about that?
Kavita: I’ll give you my example, and this is for anyone whether you’re single, in a relationship, married, this is relevant for anyone in any state in love.
So what I realized was blocking me in love, was having me push my husband away unknowingly, was a part of my parents’ relationship. For anyone, our first ever examples and role models of love are our parents. It’s the first time we’re observing and experiencing dynamics of love. And those impressions are in our subconscious.
As we get older, most of us don’t tap into what those subconscious ideas were, but they actually are in the driver’s seat of your love life.
So when I looked at my parents’ relationship, I would’ve told you that for 30+ years, they should have gotten a divorce but didn’t, because of culture and religion.
And the reason they’re still together today is because of culture and religion. So what I didn’t realize, was that in my own marriage, I was trying to ensure that we were culturally and spiritually on the same wavelength because in my subconscious, if we weren’t, it was going to end.
Meanwhile, it was choking the relationship, it was choking me, and I felt very alone, even in the relationship. Once I realized that awareness, that was the first step. Then I had to get into action in a different way to understand the other side of that belief.
So I went to my parents, and I asked them, “What is it that brought you together?” Yes, they were arranged, but I wanted to know what made them say yes.
And what I heard was…love letters. Little things like that completely changed the way I saw them and their relationship.
When I dissolved the fear in my own relationship was when my husband had space to step in and meet me there.
BH: Can you give us a glimpse into the love types you identify? And tell us about your quiz that can help our readers discover their love type!
Kavita: There are four love types: there’s the Fixer, the Nurturer, the Idealist and the Doubter. And the type you are is actually associated with your connection to your mom and dad. That tells you what type you are.
My quiz is a really quick quiz about your connection with your mom and your dad.
There’s a chart that will show you which type you fall into, and then there’s an explanation of every type. It shows the tendencies of each one to push love away and how to show up fully while having room for love.
Anne: When our readers take the quiz, it would be fun to share in our Facebook group what correlations you discover in love and business!
Kavita: Yes, totally!
For me personally, even in my business, I can show up to try and “fix” everything, so it will be cool to see the traits that your readers discover that correlate to both love AND business. There are absolutely ways that this translates into business and how you handle your team.
Anne: Do you have any final insights or advice for the Business Heroines tuning in today?
Kavita: What’s been true in my experience is that the more I step into seeing my business as something that is a game, I try to play to win. And don’t get so wrapped up in every little move that you can’t see the bigger picture.
And I can disattach to my goals when it no longer serves me to be attached to that goal. So I can change my game whenever I want. It’s my freedom that I’ve created in my business.
Special Offer from Kavita!
What “type” are you when it comes to love?
Take this FREE quiz if you are a smart, successful, loving woman. You’ll identify if you are the Fixer, The Nurturer, The Idealist, or The Doubter and how that has been unknowingly holding you back from love and relationships.
Click the image below to take the quiz!