Sacred Sassy Heroine: Ladies, Put Your Dicks Away

Kara McKay (Business Heroine Magazine)

Sacred Sassy Heroine: This is the everyday goddess within each woman. It is she who harnesses the unfeigned feminine energy that makes you divine. She embraces all-she-is and struts it like she means it. Yesterday was the full moon. This cosmic event serves as a reminder to crack out of your proper exoskeleton and reconnect with the howling sister within. She is sacred. She is sassy. She is YOU. And she is a Heroine.

“How can I charge the most money for the shortest sessions evah?”

In the world of women coaching women entrepreneurs I’ve noticed a hard-core masculine trend being pushed, boasted, and bragged about.

We put our tough mudder shirts on, flex our biceps, whip our dicks out to see who can piss the furthest and slap a Susan G. Komen pink ribbon on it, calling it femininity. I know you’re gagging on this load of judgment I’m shooting down your throat. I don’t know how else to get your attention, but to say it in man speak, “It’s time to address this head on”. (pun intended)

The most financially successful coaching clients I have all show up with the same deep ache inside. Underneath the shiny veneer of material blue ribbons, the new Audi, $1000+ handbags, and fancy pants dinner reservations, is her parched and whimpering feminine soul. That most integral part of her is being sacrificed daily on the altar of the masculine model of success.

She followed the 7 step system to success. After the initial enrollment fee it only cost her the relationships with her spouse and children, her fitness, yoga, and dance practice, her journal writing, her time in nature, her meditation time, her favorite hobbies, vacations, friends, and all that is sacred to her. But the money came and she’s “successful”. Now what?

Slow down sister, you’re missing the love your life boat.

When clients find out my sessions are 60-90 minutes, the common response is, “Whaaaaaat?” A better question is, WHY?

The answer is obvious, because I’m coaching women, not men. We are different in more ways than anatomically.

If you didn’t have 14 tabs open in your mind at all times, if your body wasn’t screaming for your attention, if you weren’t reading between all the lines in this book of life, then yes, a 20 minute laser session would be all it takes.

Sometimes those quickie sessions work for putting out the little fires, but they never touch the raging bonfire in your heart, you know the one that’s undermining all your relationships, causing weight gain, sleeplessness, and massive self-betrayal, yeah THAT one. It’s like spot cleaning your floors, but never moving all the furniture for a deep clean.

When it comes to taking my time with women, my favorite example is this: When he’s not catering to you, how long does it take to get your average man off? What does he need to warm up? How much post coital connection is required? I think it’s safe to say 15 minutes is an abundant amount of time.

Now let’s flip it. It is all about you. Would you care for any foreplay today darling? Would you rather he goes straight for the touch down or perhaps he acknowledges and delights the rest of your erogenous zones? After the crescendo, the mood changes, a different sort of touch and talk makes for a graceful transition and satisfying experience. Ever try to squeeze all that into 20 minutes? (I’m not talking about the hot quickie before the pizza is delivered.) According to my clock I’d say 60-90 minutes leaves most any woman flush with fulfillment.

We are different creatures; we have different rhythms. Can we honor that please?

Something completely different happens when a woman has ample time to breathe, connect to her body, and feel her emotions. Those open tabs in her mind start to close and she becomes present. Most importantly she is able to distinguish between the voice of her ego and the wise counsel of her intuition. Usually the thing she thought was the “thing” was merely a symptom of something larger and systemic.

Much like acknowledging the whole erogenous body, instead of going straight for the touchdown, as she wakes up to one aha, others start popping. After the climax comes the integration. When the feminine is allowed her own natural unfolding it becomes sustainable, and oh my gawd is it beautiful!

Coaching is just one example. What about everywhere else? From your shower, to your commute, your grocery store interactions, all of it. Can you slow down, learn to linger and revel in the subtle sweetness of the journey?

So ladies, enough with the bigger, better, faster, harder approach to your life and your business. We have enough masculinity in this patriarchal paradigm. We’re here to shift that. We artfully allow that shift to occur when we bring our own precious nectar to the game, our own sensual plays, and our own intuitive rules. It’s about infiltrating and seducing a stale outdated system with our luscious essence, not forfeiting our feminine nature, compromising and neutering ourselves to fit the mold.

How can you tell which operating system you’re running?

Ask your sweet self these 5 questions to gain some clarity.

1. Are you generally exhausted?

2. How is your sex life?

3. Do you allow yourself to cry for sadness as well as beauty?

4. Do you find yourself putting money before pleasure?

5. Do you have a tribe of women you commune with regularly? (Networking events don’t count.)

It’s not too late wherever you are. You are not your business. You are not merely a moneymaking machine. You are not the accumulation of your bank account and career accomplishments. You are a living, breathing, physical manifestation of more than your human mind can comprehend.

The masculine model takes the rose bud, applies chemical fertilizer, artificial light, then peels back the young petals, forcing them to bloom, as if the destination were more valuable than the journey. It tells us to deny our sacred sensual nature and produce more regardless of our truth. It asks us to lie to our prospects pretending we are satisfied with this manufactured consumer lie and force feed ourselves and our clients prepackaged GMO business vitamins, because it takes too long to plant a garden, and allow nature its journey.

What if your business was the rose that blossomed organically in its own time?

What if every step of the way was integral and worthy? What if your family, sex life, free time, art, social life, and sleep were just as valuable as signing on that next client?

The whole earth is screaming for the return of the feminine. We usher that in by becoming HER, by making way for the entire slow journey of life.

Do you want to stop war, famine, corporate greed, the destruction of our planet, patriarchal dominion? Then start right now by honoring your truth, be the unique Goddess that you are. Connect to your breath, your body, feel your emotions, speak your truth…not what you wish was your truth, what is actually REAL for you now in this moment.


Now we’re getting somewhere.


Kara McKay (Business Heroine Magazine)

Business Heroine Magazine


We’d love to hear from YOU…

What’s one thing you can do this week to embrace the feminine in your business? How do you celebrate the feminine in your business and services? Leave your answer in the comments below! 



, , , , , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Leave your opinion here. Please be nice. Your Email address will be kept private.
We like you! Do you like us?